Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
