I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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