She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
