covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I think i got beer on your cat.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
