why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
