Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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