I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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