peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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