so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
