at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize