I want to stick my p in your. b.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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