Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
