Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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