I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
