I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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