Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
