You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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