Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You ate ashes out of my bong
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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