That's when you crack a 10am beer
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
