Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
