Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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