just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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