I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
