I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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