I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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