We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
