so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
