thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was born a porn star she said
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
