i just wanna soil my oats bro
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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