i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
