she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You need a sexual gate keeper
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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