im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
