I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize