some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
