you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
