Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize