And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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