Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
