Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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