just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
