She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
