This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize