is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
