just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize