How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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