The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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