I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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