U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
