yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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