Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And then the night went full on bisexual.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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