I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
