3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
