there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
