They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
A bitchslap is in order.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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