And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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