dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
