I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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