omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
