You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
