somebody snuck up and got me drunk
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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