I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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