i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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