I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize