Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
