The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Two words: blizzard sex
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
